生きるのにを誤ってても多分役に立たないでしょう。

私いるから帰りたくないでしょう。

今日、また食べすぎ。

ね、どうして。強くなりたいのに。


今の一人生きてる時間つづけばいい。

digusting uncontrollable weak self.

maggi mee. four cookies. egg. two apples. instant coffee.

utterly despicable.

sometimes i speak too much, and all things that no one knows what to respond to.
it's unnecessary to speak of physical discomfort, inadequancies and poor performance in relation to the people i live with (straight A students; how did i end up in this program anyway).

this is me who is disgusted with the current weak, pathetic me. physically and mentally.

291108

walked around stockholm.
really cold and the wind goes under my clothes.

301108

vasa museum and ice-skating.
vasa musem was okay but not as great as expected.
ice-skating at the outdoor rink was interesting, but kind of weird without candice because most times in sg, i've always gone with her.

dinner back at th (where we're crashing)'s with his hostelmates.

Can't sleep. E and SM (studying for french) are up as well. So, had a latenightmorning snack for the first time in years. Grannys! and soy milk from Eds which tastes really weird.

And now I feel kind of fat, heh.

Watched an amazing performance by Didier PETIT organised by my Jazz Sociality professor today/last night. The raw, organic sounds and the use of his entire body, instrument and the space around him was an eye-opener. As all great performers do, he challenged my common perceptions of the expectations one usually has of music.

疲れた。ちょっと休んでもいい？あの時、病院にいった、静かだったとき、返してもらいたい。ないた。さいてだなあ。ねえ、止めたいの。

ねえ、強くなる方法教えて。

berlin
went to the famous concentration camp but too late so we only got to explore the museum.
ate at a fair

hamburg
went to the huge fair called Dom. ate spare ribs for the first time in a long while.
took a ferry from the harbour. wandered around the harbour area and went to a blues bar where we heard great blues piano playing. cotton on club.

next day
walked around and went to the history museum. great place. saw the oldest sackbut(trombone).

berlin
new berlin walking tour was good. i would really recommend it as a good way to know more about a city.

24oct-26oct

padova
wandered around the small town. had gelato for the first time in goodness knows how long. unhealthy food begins.

then we moved to venice proper. did murano the glass making island but unfortunately the glass blowing museum was already closed. back on the mainland i got a mask for the family.
calzone for dinner.

lace making burano island on the last day. got biscuits for laurianne and cancan. satoko got lace for her mom.

These few weeks have been hectic with school and people staying over. The world is getting smaller. Last week, S's friend came with four others, among which was Wei Shan and this week, her good friend came with Hui Ghee.

Can't get to sleep yet. Light sleeper. Tomorrow morning= french expose meeting at home. Must do research for european societies expose and read for social policies and law and society as well.

We didn't manage to get up for handball today and we won't be able to do next week(venice) and maybe next next week (bordeaux). Gahh.

Need to book hostel for venice!

3rd day of Barcelona

Checked out Casa Mila, Casa Bastilo and Sagrada Familia. Picasso Museum!

We're having people over again today. We went to Belleville and there was a larger selection of food there but the vegetables are more expensive than the ones sold at Chinatown (place d'italie) and not as fresh. The white wine D brought over was good. It was from Alsace I believe.

H cooked beef with potatoes and used the Szechuan hotpot spice we bought from Belleville. We also got fish!

Probably going for the art festival being held at all Gares tonight. Not sure what time though since it's nearly ten already.

The only good thing about being drunk is that you feel warm.

Sangria.

Today was FC Barcelona stadium in the morning.

Went to Park Gnell myself in the afternoon. It rained so it was bloody cold. It was okay. The architecture was interesting but too fantasy child like for my liking. Hopefully sagrada familia and casa mila would be more to my liking.

Was supposed to meet everyone at the harbour at 6 but the guys overslept. They managed to contact Z but not me as my credits expired. Waited until 7 then went back to the hostel.

Showered then we went for a flamenco performance. It was bloody amazing. The music was great and the dancing just excellent.

Ate a load for dinner. Grilled hake and a bagette. Probably too much sangria though. I don´t know why I drank so much when I don´t even like it haha.

Premiercycle declined my application for sacred and profane again. Hopefully Liu can help me. I think they called me today but I didn´t manage to pick up.

Got a barcelona jersey while waiting for dinner.

in barcelona HelloBCN Hostel now.

today was Las Ramblas, wandering around, harbour, musical fountain and shopping. Got wizard of oz tees for Candice tomorrow while the guys go visit the stadium, i'ĺl go check out the archaeological ruins at jaume.

the others love the food but it's definitely on the oily side for me.

no reply from premiercycle on possibility of taking the sacred and the profane but prof berte might let me take french1.

arghhhh.

louvre: the mona lisa was tiny and bloody far away. so many people were around it that you couldn't help but wonder, what mysterious air?

grand gallery was interesting.

S gave a crash course on circumcision.

on sat we waited 5 and a half hours to see the "president's palace". it wasn't worth it in my opinion. a bit tacky looking but there were great tapestries.

on sun we were having people over but we ran out of groceries and we ended up going all the way to chinatown because leaderprice, franprix and the marche were all closed. chicken rendang.

we bought 5 kg! of onions and so we had onion soup and wanton mee today. my stomach is bloated with gas though. it's probably the butter in the onions.

alone in the apartment now as class ended early and eunice left for hers and shimin is still at hers. these few days have been tiring because we've been having people over. yesterday was good, the beijing, taiwan and hongkong girls ended up clicking quite well.

darryl's group is going to the opera house this afternoon and i'm thinking of going but the rest are going to the louvre tonight and i probably want to go there more. i could go to both, but i'm kind of tired.

barcelona next week.

barcelona next weekend. the guys came over and were planning their trip and invited us along. S and E were just there, so they're not going.

found an enormous bookshop for school supplies and novels today (: gibert jeune at saint michel.

going to chatelet tomorrow. new friend ly wants to go shopping.

bought a scarf at h&m and a leather lookalike jacket from pimkie yesterday.

14 sept

sacred coeur at montmartre was okay, but not spectacular. spent about an hour plus and rushed back to have lunch with eunice because we couldn't get in contact with her.

lunch then rushed out to concorde to recording for tv5. spent an hour and fifteen minutes staring at politicians (since I don't understand a word of French) arguing whether religion should be entangled with politics the way it is in the US.

dinner at quick burger at chatelet and then off to supper with W's host family and friends near Etoile Militarie and Effiel. Ate a million strawberries, grapes and pomelos because they were right in front of me.

15 sept

really tired in french class. got to know a beijing girl who joined after the reshuffle in classes. ate lunch with her and will be doing so again tomorrow, then we're going to the library to do research for oral presentation. G cooked dinner today. She seemed in a better mood. Impression slightly altered for the better.

Bought a GAP pullover because it was the most affordable thick clothing I've seen so far.

11 Sept

G arrived. Class was spilt up into beginners and non-. Placed with beginners. Not looking forward to the pace being even slower than before, but it'll be good revision.

12 Sept

Opened bank account. Sat outside the Tuilleries and had a picnic. Didn't manage to visit the Lourve. Met two new people, A and W. A from Germany and W from Thailand whom Z met in front of the Lourve. He was very knowledgeable and friendly. Thai puppetry, singer with brass band etc. He even sang for us. Then we walked to the Effiel. Hung around the bottom only and didn't go up as Z was feeling unwell.

13 Sept

Went to see the Pope in Paris. Didn't understand any of the outdoor mass (Esplanade de Invalides) but the music was lovely.

Got a French sim card.

The guys came over for lunch which was a failed experiment of fried rice due to too much water, in order to catch a soccer match.

E and S cooked chicken soup for Z who was feeling under the weather. The tupperware failed us though and we went back to the apartment to rebundle it but it leaked yet again while we were on the RER.

We spoke to G on housing and payment today and she was defensive, which was to be expected. It's the principle of the thing though. To offer to pay when you are staying at another's. Spoke rather harshly because I was unimpressed with her behaviour thus far. Apologised for it though.

Going to montmarte tomorrow! (Or rather, today)

Better get my work done before we leave the house.

Didn't get some of my modules that I need. Hopefully will be able to get them by midnight tonight, but we'll see. It's first come, first serve online registration, so.

Waited in two queues on Mon to take the oral test and to get orientation grouping. How I love bureacracy.

Lessons on Tues were okay. Methodology gave me some grief but French was okay. So far, fast revision and assumption of basic knowledge of French.

W (Z's friend), w's friend A and S came over for dinner last night. Then we left for some boat party thrown by the Association Sportive around 10. We stayed for about one and a half hours. Nothing much for my first party and first cocktail. Loud music and lack of space. It was facing the Louvre though, so the view was nice. Didn't really want to go because I was tired and parties are not my thing, but I already got the ticket and it was 15 euros.

Cleaned up the apartment today.